Ads received through email at CNA:
Masterclass EU communication only 1800 €
Training programme of the European Training Institute
• Brussels in a day, 6 September, eur500 -> eur 400
• New Post Lisbon Comitology, 8 September, eur 350 -> eur 280
• Master Class EU Lobbying, 9-10 September, eur 1750 -> eur 1460
• EU funding at your Fingertips, 13-14 September, eur 950 -> eur 760
• Upgrading NGO lobbying skills, 15 September, eur 295 ->eur 240
• Masterclass Communication, 27 September, eur 950 -> eur 760
• The 7 habits for Managers, 12 October, eur 950 -> eur 760
EU Funding Arena – ‘How EU programs work’ lecture
Working Snack – Analysis, diagnostics and refining (14-15h)
Activity Based Costing
What I don’t know anything about:
• How to identify EU Funding programmes?
• How to submit a successful project?
• How to master the techniques of project management?
• Learn how to identify and work with partners?
The Turkish model
There is no other institution which I hold that much anger towards, as for the European Union (EU). It is not so because this huge institution is really the worst of all, but because, in contrast to many others, I had great expectations from it, which remained unfulfilled. Probably, it is only me; my naive and great expectations might be the reason of disappointment. In the area where I live and work, (between Macedonia and Croatia), hopes of better future are interlinked with the perspective of joining the EU. Most middle-age people think this dream will come true during their life-time. (In)Adequacy of such hopes is pretty obvious if circumstances and problems facing Serbia, BH, Kosovo and Macedonia are considered. The problems these societies are faced with are at least decades old and there is not any sign whatsoever they could be overcome in near future. The weight of the past war in BH has shown itself as a too heavy burden for immature, profit oriented political and state authorities that use to lead the country.
Without recognition of Kosovo, which is unlikely to happen in the next twenty years, Serbia can be as much EU member-state candidate, as it is the case with Turkey. Macedonia pursues hellenisation of own history which is not taken serious even by it’s own citizens, as childish reaction to the Greek persistent demands for the name change ,thus defending the sole right to Old Hellenic heritage. The chance of a dispute settlement remains bleak. After all, even if all listed problems would be resolved, there is so much opposition and resistance in the EU in regards to accession of West Balkan countries and treatment of them as equal partners, that the only certain perspective of accession is that of Turkey. Even if I was all wrong, there are strong forces which prosper in current status. So, beside funerals and peace work being seemingly always needed services,1 “accessing EU” tends to become as needed. To avoid risk of neglecting, Montenegro is facing a problem of overly successful privatization. Its former President and Prime Minister in several mandates, as wagging tongues state, holds a position of the lord and master, owner and controller of all resources in that small country. Fighting corruption seems a vain attempt while the mentioned commendable democrat and independence champion is out and loose. Croatian Prime Minister glorifies and thanks convicted war criminals,2 the public applauds, which demonstrates how Croatia, almost a member of the EU, sees the international justice. However, the EU has never seen Croatia in the same light as other Eastern countries of former Yugoslavia, and it is not to be expected that this scandalous public appearance would have any serious consequences.
Candidates/delegates
While there are the candidatures, there will be crumbs that fall from the table over for us to gather, and these (crumbs) are called the accession assistance funds or IPA, supports, experts, lobbying…We shall swim in the pool of „EU Arena“, and play along, play a draw, play straight, play cat and mouse, and finally, we will fall for an ambition to grow from a small to a big fish, so we shall invest into attaining the skill of EU Communication. Does anybody know what this EU Communication stands for? You don’t?! That only means you have not attended the Master class EU Communication training. If you had, you would have mastered the top EU communication skills. You still don’t follow? Well, if you invest only €1800, and two days of your time, you will know what this means.3 I don’t know the reason why there is an EU Communication training, when there is a communication for which I thought being universal, i.e. adoptable and practiced even in the EU. Ah, how ignorant of me! Please, forgive me!
EU Communication
In the last fifteen years, I have been fundraising for peacebuilding, that being one of many tasks of mine. For the time, I have written dozens of project proposals, describing in them our intentions and what we wish to achieve and why, and I can say, I was fairly successful. Confirmation of the efforts presents itself in the sustainable organisation, which is not only about fundraising, because a successful fundraising is supposed to be seen as the result of a successful and honest work throughout many years of effort Apart from the already mentioned and approved project-proposals, huge funds were utilized, calculated, justified, and controlled, I have also written hundreds of pages of project proposals to the EU, which have never been approved. It must be up to me, not being trained and skilled to communicate with the EU, because for goods sake, it is not the same to communicate with people from German, Norwegian or Swiss administration or any other private foundation as with them. The Illiterate and ignorant are not eligible to communicate with the EU; there are courses for them to attend and get educated, before they initiate to kick against the prick and interfere the divine right.
Freedom, equality, and tenders
In the EU, everybody is equal, the equality is guaranteed, regardless of you (not) having long history of fighting for human rights, cross-border cooperation, or peacebuilding. If short of it (record of action), they will provide for you. It is implicit that money makes the mare to go. Big fish eat the little…It happened, and not once, that big international organizations contacted us to provide for certain activities, to pay us with bits of money they got within their EU projects, and when we rejected ”cooperation“, they went away, looking for desperate smaller, local organizations which did not pose any awkward questions, like we did.
Clearly, for the EU, we are all equal; we have the freedom and right to nose about for a politician, or even better, a member of the tender committee, who will discreetly see our “matter” through. No, there is no corruption, no protection-no, no way!
Mostly one and the same always get the funds from the EU member countries, but hey, – they know how to communicate! They probably attended Master class EU communication training. Alas, I have nobody but myself to blame for not attending the seminar. Not the membership but to meet the standards set by them is the key.
I am thinking of saving € 70 for my birthday, and get myself a treat by attending:
– New Post Lisbon Comitology, 8 September, 350€ – now only 280€.
I am agog to find out what comitology4 stands for. In my dictionary, I can not find a word neither can I find it in a Cambridge one, so I think it is perhaps of the EU origin. I would love to be on it, to strike the right note with it, to hit the bull’s eyes with it, to rock potential audience in the aisles, so that later we might understand each other better (me and the EU).5 If I had €760 and my hands in the EU funds, I would not hesitate; I would treat my self straight away. Actually, I am thinking of addressing a donor to pay a week for me in Brussels, to get educated at courses for which I would need €4000: the cheapest course is on upgrading my NGO skills, and costs €260, but I insist to pay minimum €400, plus roughly €100 for travel costs and accommodation, in addition to per diem in amount of €500, in accordance with the EU standards. It would be so rewarding to uplift to higher spiritual heights, and so lucrative. If by a sheer luck, a donor happens to read this, please, bring it on! To round the circle off, it would be ideal, if the money is from the EU funds. You see, I will perfectly fit into the Union, I just need a donor. Actually, I can hardly wait to act as someone’s EU and to talk the EU language. I live for it. Diligently, I stamp out project proposals for accessions and dissolutions.
Interaction
Talking about communication, does anybody of you-readers know about these courses offered by the competing institution, named as follows:
“EU funding arena- How EU programs work? – A lecture “– I fully understand this!
“Working Snack! – Analysis, diagnosis and refining (14-15:00)”- what is being analyzed in here, a quick snack or something else? They are pretty fast; how could possibly I understand this in an hour?
“Activity Based Costing”- Captivating! – But, I’m still bewildered what it means.
I am just fine!
I pine away, but hey, care killed the cat, I am happy not to be the only one, and there is still this certainty that we will remain in such a state for a long, long time. We might be at war a bit, frown a bit, adjust a bit, and again, war, fight. After all, only peace building is a prosperous job.
Brussels- I‘ve been there! Off to Caucasus now!
Out of the first-five-days visit in Brussels, I spent a day in the International Criminal Tribunal in the Hague, while the rest, four days, I was introduced to the roles and functions of the EU institutions in a support of civil society and the process of accession. We visited the Parliament too. There were thirty of us, visitors from the former Yugoslavia, mostly people from the NGO sector who work or closely cooperate with the Forum ZFD, and Nansen Dialogue Centre, and a small number of the others – peace makers. The Forum ZFD organized the visit which I entirely enjoyed, having an exceptional opportunity to see and feel how this wanton beast, the EU hydra, looks like up close. Despite my accumulated frustrations regarding its role and functions, which were too obvious too hide, I gained insight showing me genuine people working there, people with all their shortcomings and virtues, whom, once met, a person one may like or feel the opposite.
A pleasant surprise, definitely, was the high representative, Mr. Pierre Mirrel, who usually does not pay visits to such a low-profile gatherings like ours, but who obviously had an interest in the theme and the group and did us an honour of personal appearance. I was interested to hear how the roles and functions of the EU are assembled in controversial whole, as in the Balkans, EU presents itself as a peacebuilding idea, while at the same time, few EU countries run amok bombarding campaigns on Libya, – enforcing democracy. It seems that I got a pretty honest answer: “There are various politics which are not always simple and easy to harmonize.” For me personally, meeting a person responsible for programs to support civil society (in addition to other sorts of assistance to the governments and NGOs) was shocking. We were addressed as “his children he provides for”, (!?) besides (being told) that civil society groups / organizations must function as the market economy following a rule by which “the big fish eat the little” and that we should not forget how nowadays “British organizations realize programs in the Caucasus worth millions, while our organisations, (those from the Balkans) could do the same much cheaper, but still they do nothing to join in the market rat race”.
Every visitor, who undertook this trip to the EU institutions and see the way they function, received €320 per diem, for meal allowances, approximately an amount of an average monthly salary in the countries we come from (Croatia excused). Out of the total sum, I managed to save the half. I guess that would be a motive good enough for many people to apply for a study visit like this only to get that much money. However, it was not the case with this group, and I see new contacts with people from the region a huge profit from the study visit to Brussels. Who knows, if wise and smart as whip, we might meet again in the Caucasus.
(12.08.2011.)
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1 „Only death is a safe job“ – a quote from The Marathon Family movie.
2 Jadranka Kosor, apropo the 16th anniversary of the „Storm“, military action, August, 2011.
3 An institution located in Brussels offers a course, and not without competitors to sneeze at.
4 I understood, a new postoffice has been opened, but what I dont understad is how it is related to comitology?!
5 I found“comitology“ on Wikipedia. I will not tell you what it means. Find out for your self and educate yourself.